In this back-to-school season, we are thrilled to share some valuable tips that can help foster after-school connection and communication with school-age kids, with a FREE downloadable PDF of "12 After-school Connection & Communication Prompts for Parents & Caregivers" AND some strategies for accommodating a range of neurodivergent support needs when using this free resource. Whether you're a parent, caregiver, coach, or simply someone who wants to embrace neurodiversity, these insights are designed to be practical, inclusive, and empowering.
Don't forget to register for this month's back-to-school edition of CAYRgiver Circle, coming up on Wednesday 8/28 from 6:30-8pm on Zoom! Follow this link to learn more and RSVP to receive the Zoom link via email.
Why After-School Time Matters
After-school hours are often hectic and stressful for children and teens. It's a time when they transition from the structured environment of school to the more relaxed setting of home or extracurricular activities. This shift can sometimes be challenging but also offers a unique opportunity for meaningful connection and communication. For many kids, the precious hours between school and dinner are the only times that they have some autonomy over their choice of activities.
Have you ever noticed that your child seems overwhelmed right after school? For some kids and teens, they manage to “keep it together” all day but as soon as they get home, they melt down. There’s a name for this – “after-school restraint collapse," and it's experienced by both neurotypical and neurodivergent kids. If this resonates with you, check out this podcast by "Where the F is my Village?" and this article by Today's Parent.
Here are some general tips to make the after-school transition smoother:
Regulation before Expectation: Don’t place too many demands on your child until you’ve made sure that their regulation needs are met. Are they hungry or thirsty? Do they need to use the bathroom? What is their energy level? Are they seeking or avoiding sensory input? Once they are regulated, they’re more likely to respond positively to your questions or requests.
Create a Consistent Routine: Establishing a predictable routine can provide a sense of security and reduce anxiety. For example, start with a snack, followed by some quiet time before diving into homework or other activities.
Use Visuals: Visual aids like charts, picture schedules, or written lists can help your child understand what comes next, making transitions less daunting.
Allow Decompression Time: Give your child some time to unwind and decompress after school. This could be through sensory activities like playing with putty, listening to calming music, or simply having some alone time.
Don’t Overschedule: It can be tempting to sign kids up for ALL of the extracurricular activities, but having after-school activities every day can be overwhelming. Instead, try cycling through different extracurricular activities each season, instead of doing them all at once. Ensuring some more relaxed after-school days allows kids to decompress and do their own thing, whether that’s reading, drawing, playing video games, or another hobby.
Making Time to Connect & Communicate
In today's fast-paced world, it is crucial to set aside dedicated moments for meaningful interactions with our loved ones. By making a conscious effort to connect with your child after school and check in on how their day went, we strengthen relationships, build trust, and foster understanding.
Picture it: you've set aside time to connect with your child after school, you've made sure they have all of their needs met, and you finally ask "how was your day?" Most kids will give a one-word answer: "good." Some kids might give a three-word answer, "I don't know." So how can we know what's going on with their lives if they can't tell us? The answer is in the questions we ask! This month's free download is a list of 12 alternatives to "how was your day?" Click on the link below to check it out, and keep scrolling for neuro-affirming strategies to accommodate kids who need support in answering the questions.
Accommodations for Kids with Support Needs
All kids deserve to express themselves, even if speech is not always accessible to them. Presume competence by asking questions without infantalizing or over-simplifying, and then provide support if they show you that they need it. It’s important to honor all forms of communication, not just spoken words, and provide access to Alternative & Augmentative Communication (AAC) options that meet your child’s needs. This might look like:
Interpreting body language, eye gaze, and vocalizations
Noticing gestures and modeling gesture use as a form of communication
Modeling key words in sign language
Using a paper-based communication board
Offering a speech-generating device, such as a tablet with a communication app
After your child responds, paraphrase what you understood to show that you're truly listening and valuing their input. Check in with them and make sure that you got it right – and if you didn’t, ask them for more information so that they know you care about making them feel understood.
Emotional safety is crucial for open communication and genuine connection. Validate the child’s feelings and acknowledge their emotions without judgment. Phrases like “It's okay to feel upset” go a long way. Provide Reassurance by letting them know that it's safe to express themselves openly.
Inclusivity isn't just about acceptance; it's about creating an environment where everyone feels valued and understood. Let's come together as a community to support our neurodivergent loved ones! By implementing these tips, we create spaces where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued. Share your experiences with us—what works for you? What challenges do you face? Let's learn from each other!
Remember, small changes can make a BIG difference! Together, we can build an inclusive world where neurodiversity is celebrated every day.
Thank you for being part of our journey toward radical inclusion! Stay connected with us for more resources and support. Let's continue embracing neurodiversity—one step at a time!
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